The Paleo Diet for Cavemen


-No thank you. -Why you no eat mammoth? -Oh, uh, me doing this thing. -Uh, this little pleisto diet thing right now. -What that? -It stupid fad diet. -No, no no. It just diet where me only eat thing australopithecus ate. In early Pleistocene era. -That sound very restrictive. -No, no, it not so bad. Uh, me can still eat raw fruit, vegetables and tubers and small lizard. -Can Ugg eat early ancestor of cow? -No, that not part of diet. -Can Ugg eat small stones? -No, not that. -Can Ugg eat big lizard? -[grunts] -No, guys. Rules very simple. -Okay, me only eat fruit, vegetables, tuber, and small lizard. -You think if australopithecus alive today, he not eat mammoth? -That not point. -Ugg think he better than us. -No, no, no. Me just think australopithecus healthier before we start processing food with fire, okay? It more natural way of living!
-[both grunt disapprovingly] -That early ancestor of bullshit! -No, it not. No. No, it true. I… I show you this study, it show man who hunt mammoth two hundred percent more likely to die early. By being crushed by mammoth. -Me need to see source of this study. -And it likely not peer reviewed. -It true, me read it. Okay, and tuber a great way to cleanse body of toxin. -[both grunt angrily] -Toxin frequently misused word! -It not thing Ugg need worry about. -Why this bother you, huh? Me decision not affect you. -Me worry you falling for pseudoscientific claims! Health science notoriously unscientific! -It not that big deal, okay? Diet just simple rules for help me figure out what eat. Maybe me not eat poison mushroom. Or not eat rock. Or shit. -What wrong with shit? Shit good! -Me think modern human eat too much shit. -Me think Ugg develop eating disorder. -[grunts in agreement] -Look, me love shit. Me not knocking shit. But me problem is, Thog put big pile of shit in front of me, me can’t stop eating it. -Me worried you harming body for stupid fad. -At end of day, me not argue with results. Alright, since me start pleisto diet, me look and feel great. -Me guess that makes sense. -That why me vegan. -VEGAN?! -[all grunt and shout angrily] [Sketch ends] -Hey, it’s Grant from CollegeHumor. Thank you for watching. Click here to subscribe to the channel, click here to watch another video, And click here to see what I look like without a shirt on. Ah. Weird that it’s the same, isn’t it?

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Reader Comments

  1. The Left-Hander

    I was going to like the video, but then Grant started eating shit. That was too gross and unfunny to not keep me from liking the video.

  2. Shadow Clod

    First time watching this video and something i dont see people saying in the comments is that the end card was Grants "me without a shirt thing" meanwhile, in the video itself he didnt have a shirt on

  3. Andrew Laurent

    Love it. Everyone seems to forget that tubers were eaten throughout the Paleolithic period and that these early humans ate mostly carbs.

  4. Otaku Turtle

    Comment section:
    10% the cavewoman said she was vegan despite wearing fur
    40% how funny the "200% chance higher of dying by being crushed by mammoth" joke was
    50% trapp 's man boobs

  5. Niharika Sharda

    Ppl ate meat in early times , when vegetation/crops etc was not a thing … it is only better and advanced to eat a vegetarian diet

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