Baking Bad with Jessie and Claud // Christmastide Day 4 [CC]

Oh, I’m so happy. Oh, you’re the best Christmas present ever, Tills. Aww. And look, she’s got my name on. Mmm. Aww, baby! [Claudia chuckles] Hello, and welcome to day four of Christmastide – otherwise known as day five because I got the norovirus and took a day off. C: Is it, ‘Four French hens…’? J: Three French hens; four calling birds. C: Ah. Why are there so many birds? J: This will make sense later when we unwrap our present of the day! C: Yay! Can we do it now? J: No. J: I haven’t wrapped yours yet. C: Aww. J: But thank you very much for my gift today.
C: Yeah. J: In the form of Tilly. C: Dogs are not just for Christmas.
J: They’re for every Christmas. C: And all year through. J: I have decided that rather than the plan of what we were gonna do for the video today, blah blah blah, we would do something nice and easy and bake together. C: OK!
J: In a loving way, dear wife. C: I don’t like baking. J: No. But I do! J: So—and it’s even easier, because I got… J: Look, it’s a pre-made J: Christmas gingerbread star tree
C: Mmhm. J: from Waitrose! C: So it’s actually just–
J: Not sponsored! J: It’s really pretty. C: So it’s more of an assembly. J: You say that, but it’s a mix and then you add water to it, and then you bake it. J: So I guess that is baking. C: Ooh.
J: Ooh. J: That’s how today’s going. J: I also have edible gold stars J: so we can decorate our tree!
C: Cool! J: And it will be beautiful. J: OK. Where’s the box? [Music] J: The box has got the instructions on.
C: Thought we didn’t need that any more. J: OK! C: Can we not do it like [TV presenter voice], “You need two sachets of golden syrup; one green icing …and here’s one we made earlier!”? Da-da! End of video! [Music] J: OK.
C: No? J: But we didn’t buy two of these. C: Aww.
J: But yeah, we can go straight to that. C: I get that this is meant to be a fun activity. C: Look at Tills. She’s like how I feel. C: Aww, now you’re a wizard. J: How do you think I feel? This is the first time I’ve got outside of bed in two days. J: Inside, we’ve got the gingerbread mix. C: Check. J: Golden syrup.
C: Check. J: Royal green icing mix.
C: Check. J: Sparkly icing sugar. C: Edible gold stars?
J: No, that’s different. C: Oh. Sweet Snow, it’s called. J: Waitrose, you lied to me. J: Piping bag and stencil! J: Oh, which is inside the box. [Claudia giggles] J: Let’s do it.
C: Let’s go! J: Empty the two sachets of golden syrup and the 70 grams of unsalted butter into a deep saucepan. J: Heat on the hob (only on medium heat) until the mixture begins to boil, then remove from the heat. Chuck the gingerbread mix into the hot syrup and using a wooden spoon, mix until a dough is formed. J: Claudia! Stop eating it! J: Empty the mixture out onto the table and knead with your hands until it’s smooth. J: Be careful – it will be hot. J: Using flour to dust, roll out the dough using a rolling pin to approximately five millimetres thick. J: Cut out three of each star size using the stencils provided printed inside the carton, starting with the large and trimming each one off as you go. J: Place these onto a baking tray lined with baking parchment and bake in the centre of a preheated oven 160 °C fan for approximately twelve minutes. J: Once baked, remove from the oven and leave to cool on the tray C: Mmm, smells good! J: Royal icing mix: J: Empty the sachet of royal icing mix into a clean [Jessica laughing loudly] C: Is this part of the narrative? J: I think I took too much cold medication and now I’m hysterical! C: …OK. J: Empty the sachet of royal icing mix into a clean, grease-free mixing bowl. J: Add twenty milligrams of cold water and beat using a wooden spoon for five minutes until it’s light in texture. J: Alternatively, use a handheld or tabletop whisk. C: Jessica got a bit distracted with hysterics. [Jessica giggles] [Jessica laughs] C: She finds it very funny. J: Consistency can be adjusted by adding either more icing sugar or water. J: Claudia added more icing sugar to make it thicker [Claudia stirring] but she didn’t sieve it, so… Good luck getting those lumps out. Place into the piping bag provided once mixed. J: I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anyone do this with a ladle before. [Claudia giggles] C: I wasn’t sure what you’re meant to use. J: I had hysterics and ruined my eye make-up. C: Yes.
J: No one mention anything. C: Right, so. C: How do you put this tree together? J: Using a small amount of royal icing, stick the star biscuits together starting with the largest first and rotating slightly each time you add one. C: Oh, rotating slightly?
J: Like this! J: Beautiful.
C: I think it’s like nice vice versa, isn’t it? C: Like, with each point.
J: Sure, honey. J: It’s your tree. J: I can’t even eat it. C: Awwww. J: Go with whatever. [Sad music] C: They do smell good. J: I did make those nice cookies with Stevie that I can eat, so… J: Also, I love how in that video I was like, ‘Never! I’m never gonna bake anything from a box!’ [Claudia chuckles] J: Next: once you have assembled the tree and it’s set, use the remaining royal icing to decorate the tree using the image on the front as a guide. J: Claudia?
C: Let’s have a look. C: Oh, my gaawd. C: Is there not even an image of it on the back, like a…? C: No. J: Right, so. J: Now what? C: Well… C: You can’t eat it.
J: True. C: I don’t want this entire tree
J: OK. C: I’m not a big biscuit fan. J: No.
C: Um… C: Why don’t we make, like, some little, like… gifts? J: OK! J: We’re gonna turn this failure into something else! C: Wait. C: Oh! C: It does look a little bit like a tree!
J: Wooo! C: [Inaudible]
J: OK, OK! J: We have three people we’ve not given presents to yet. J: We could make three mini trees. C: Like a Christmas bush. J: They will be receiving a shrub now. J: That’s what’s [inaudible]
C: A poinsettia! J: OK! That could work! C: Which does look like–decorate it with red icing C: Make it look like a poinsettia.
J: Yeah, no, I’m with you! We’re gonna make a Christmas poinsettia. C: Nah! C: Nah, let’s just do some layered, like, nice little star thing and then put a ribbon round. C: And a label. C: And it’ll be lovely. C: Hopefully they don’t watch our videos. C: OK, we’ve made Christmas poinsettias, everybody! J: We’ve saved Christmas, guys! C: Yay!
J: Oh, well done! J: Let’s go. J: We’re gonna start by chopping the end off this piping bag. I hope you made this icing thick enough or else it’s all gonna go horribly wrong. C: Oh dear, that is quite runny. J: Not my best work. C: I think my friends will be very impressed, you know? C: Considering that we had norovirus like only like two days ago. J: Will they, or will they be like, ‘Please don’t give me food items!’? J: We didn’t think this through.
C: True. C: [Inaudible] got so much finesse, what is going on here? J: Do you want me to get a knife and spread it on these ones, too? C: I don’t quite know what’s happened here. J: I’m just not having a good time. C: Aw.
J: I mean, this is fun. J: I’m just… C: Don’t hit yourself in the head with a knife, Christ! J: It had butter on! Now there’s butter in my hair.
C: Darling… J: Ooh.
C: Look, that looks so much neater. J: OK! J: Now, I’m too ill and I mess everything up. J: So… C: Oh, yes, it is quite glittery. J: Oh, is it? Let’s see. J: Oooo! Can I–I can…?
C: All right, you do that. J: I’ll sprinkle. C: “Can I? Can I? Can I?!” C: Yes. [Festive music] J: I mean, that’s full-on Christmas; if that’s not Christmas, I don’t know what is. C: Nah, it’s all right, let’s eat them. C: [Inaudible] [Loud crunching] [Jessica laughs] J: What have we learnt from this episode of ‘Not Baking with Jessica and Claudia’? C: That you can salvage any plan that does not go to plan if you change that plan. J: Yeah! J: Always have a malleable plan. C: Have a plan B, C, D. C: And make a–
J: Just keep moving those goal posts. C: Until it’s plan G. C: All right, presents! J: Wooo! J: Thank you! J: In today’s other failure…
C: I opened mine already! C: Because I knew what it was. J: Ahhh! J: Because it makes a noise like a bird. C: Yeah! J: Aw, angel chimes!
C: Originally Swedish. J: Yeah. C: We wait until the air heats… [Festive music] J: Thank you very much for joining us on this series of misadventures. C: I love how this one just adds to it. C: All good things come to those who wait, my love. J: …Huh? C: All good things come to those who wait. J: Join us tomorrow… for hopefully better results. C: Maybe plan A. J: Yeah. J: Also, feel free to subscribe if you’re not already but you’ve somehow made it through to this part of the video. J: It’s been a day.

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Reader Comments

  1. chichi picks

    All cold medicine makes me feel like that! I can empathize with you Jess, doing your job while your mind is blitzed on cold medicine is not ideal lol

  2. LizTiddington

    Disclaimer: I truly love the effort you put into your really artistic videos. THAT BEING SAID, my god I loved this SO much! Absolutely hilarious, please do more of these raw, funny videos, preferably when Jessie or Claud (or both?) is high on something πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚β€οΈ

  3. Quieshe Hope

    Close caption was about as funny as todays video, something about being pregnant, lol . Figured the word was supposed to be present as you opened your presents. πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ thky you for the laughs.

  4. PhoebeFay RuthLouise

    9:02–9:31 Jessica and Claudia have the answer to successful living! I will be thinking of β€œPlan G” from now on! Y’all are the best! I always love to see you laugh together!

  5. Spencer D

    Is it just me or does Claudia look like a cat slowly pushing the box off the table while staring at the camera. Also tapping your forehead and forgetting you’re holding a knife is very relatable

  6. Shala Carter

    I have watched every one of your videos, and this one is the best! When you are 80 and still making videos, this will remain your best. Christmas classic! This should be sold to the networks! Oh, PS. You Brits have weird baking measurement tool thingies stuff.

  7. Adriem86

    🀣🀣🀣 Claudia you slay me !πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ I'm the same way with anything that comes with massive directionsπŸ˜‚

  8. Jwb52z

    I love that you have a wooden countertop.Β  I think they could have made cutting out the stars easier.Β  It seems a bit obtuse that way they instruct you to do it.Β  This is probably one of the only times you want green icing.Β  giving you a set of small cookie cutters would have been more simple.

  9. Ayu Pambudi

    And I recommended you Jessica to visit my country culture. It was a very awesome building… Maybe u hear it "BOROBUDUR" Temple. It was in central of java Indonesia. In magelang town. It's one of miracle building in the world . Very big temple and I don't understand how they makes that building only by hand and making many stone being so wonderful… Maybe it's use magic πŸ™‚. I prettyi sure u will get many subcribe for that adventure in that temple because we are many population people here about 265mllion or maybe more. And we so appreciate it if there's a video that up load about the culture… πŸ€—πŸ€—..

  10. Jillian Siehlmann

    This was just hilarious and real πŸ˜† I legit was cracking up along with you the whole time bc this is how it goes sometimes! πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ And your editing added to the comedic effect as well!

  11. Lua Lazarovic

    The thing about malleable plans is the best advice you could give, actually. You guys are hilarious. If this is any consolation, a bunch of us here couldn't have done this better. πŸ™‚

  12. Chris Moon

    I think you both did a really great job salvaging the cookie tree!!! I love that you made me happy cry, laugh tears! I needed this so much I wish I could tell you, but my words are kind of locked up in a cold/sick I have right now as well, I can just say thank you, you're all wonderful! <3

  13. moordt

    I got all excited about that angel thingy. Brought back childhood memories. But that was somewhat anticlimactic lol. The result of your baking wasn’t that bad! Looking forward to another vid.

  14. Dakota Abroad

    This was adorable. This is my first holidays season in… 3… 4 years? without a significant other. My engagement recently ended. It was nice to see this. =P Especially since all my dates have been going terribly. xD

  15. boojingleful

    Oh I loved this one! Seeing you both just roll with it and giggling about things not quite going as hoped was great fun and weirdly relaxing. Hope you're feeling better soon Jessica, love this series idea

  16. Eli Alone

    With the angel chimes, maybe try flipping the propeller? Or check if the upper part is on top of the sharp part, enabling spinning? I don't know, I always have problems assembling one correctly, too πŸ˜…

  17. Stacey Card

    This video was amazing, it was so lovely to see you both giggling and having a great time, even after the norovirus! It was much more natural than some of your other videos, which have been getting almost too professional lately, if that makes sense! Your recent videos have lost some of your humour and personality, and it was wonderful to see that back. Much love, I hope this doesn’t hurt your feelings! Xx

  18. IceWeirdo

    I love Claudia's shirt, but it makes me think of a song that mocks women. Obviously it was written by a man.

  19. mostepotentebooks

    About the angel chimes- the table might have been leaning a little and any leaning will shift the heat rising and that is why it might not be moving. /swedish helper

  20. Uragan5

    Jessica, you are insane gorgeous. And I love your classic style beauty. Also I admire the fact that you smile to life the way you do even with an impairment, you are stronger than most people out there that complain over nothing. Keep it up!

  21. Kim Wheeler

    This video was so fun!! Also I love your measuring cup. My friend has one like that only it's like 100 years old, it was her grandad's, she loves it.

  22. Rheycel montage

    I first knew challaman then after a few month i saw jessica, I'm just happy that there are these kinds of people in youtube queer,deaf but still being inspiration to others aren't they the best?

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